{"id":2341,"date":"2026-05-18T10:31:33","date_gmt":"2026-05-18T08:31:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.data-pro.nu\/?p=2341"},"modified":"2026-05-18T10:31:33","modified_gmt":"2026-05-18T08:31:33","slug":"%f0%9f%a9%b5-kankerlicht-herstel-is-zwaarder-dan-ziek-zijn","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.data-pro.nu\/en\/%f0%9f%a9%b5-kankerlicht-herstel-is-zwaarder-dan-ziek-zijn\/","title":{"rendered":"\ud83e\ude75 Cancer Light \u2013 Recovery is harder than being ill"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u2047 15:33 The bell that no one wants to hear\"\"<\/a><\/h3>\n

It was a call on Friday afternoon at 15:33. I was just preparing a kwis beer tasting. In a few minutes my afternoon changed from light to heavy. Since then, I've been trying to write down everything that happens. Not to get pity, but to keep my head and heart together. These blogs are my way of understanding, sharing and showing how I deal with them \u2013 sometimes serious, sometimes humorous, but always real.<\/p>\n

\u201cLife does not call in advance to ask if it is convenient.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\ud83e\ude76 Being sick was a piece of cake<\/h3>\n

I still remember the pain of my illness. The tiny bites of ice cream that I worked in with difficulty and a lot of caution. I remember telling my parents in the hospital with a heavy heart that I was tired, that I needed rest. A nasty message, but necessary, because I had so much pain and wanted to sleep and rest.<\/p>\n

Yet the past and present period of recovery feels a lot heavier. Let me explain why. Being sick is like a bad movie: You know it's going to end somewhere, and all you have to do is wait for the credits to roll. Recovering from it is like a bad series: You think you're at the end of an episode, but no, cliffhanger<\/em>, You have to wait for the next season.<\/p>\n

\u201cBeing sick is passive suffering. Recovery is actively fighting against your own stupid ambitions.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\ud83e\ude76 Mepal, the middleman and my inner thundercloud<\/h3>\n

An important period was that of consultation with Mepal and the intermediary party that initially placed me. It was a good match, because Mepal turned out to be the most social client I have experienced so far. Gifts, visits, interested messages and the chance to try something with them.<\/p>\n

But that didn't just happen. Mepal did not want to pay the intermediary if they hired me on a therapeutic basis, and the intermediary did not want to abandon her claim and non-competition. This created a lot of stress. Stress is exhausting. And fatigue leads to depression for me. In addition, I really had to recover from working with Mepal. The tax was low, but frankly, I might have been a little early.<\/p>\n

And no, a breakdown with me is not that I lie shaking and shivering on the floor. It is that I walk through the house like an angry thundercloud, am very quiet, want nothing, see everything black, and frustrate myself and my environment beyond measure. Sylvia can talk about that.<\/p>\n

\u201cStress is like a bad relationship: you know you have to stop, but you keep going back.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\ud83e\ude76 Sylvia\u2019s 50th birthday and Henro\u2019s law<\/h3>\n

Of course, I wanted to do Sylvia\u2019s 50th birthday well, with the limited capacity I had. And two days before her birthday, when I wanted to organize everything, I was in the hospital with Sylvia. To take pictures of her very painful foot. That meant I did everything on Thursday.<\/p>\n

Friday everything was decorated, many people visiting, Saturday was her birthday, Sunday a BBQ at the campsite, Monday clean up and among other things the BBQ cleaning at the campsite. And you guessed it: Tuesday was a very sad day.<\/p>\n

In the talk group with cancer survivors, where we are used to, I got the comment: \"You're really in fighting mode, aren't you?\"<\/em> I took a week off and went back to work. The past weekends have been fun, but busy. And I know I'm going to have a breakdown.<\/p>\n

\u201cOrganising and restoring parties does not go hand in hand. Who would have thought that?\u2019<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\ud83e\ude76 The occupational physician and the art of idleness<\/h3>\n

Somewhere in between I had a company doctor visit, who advised to take some gas back. And I take that advice. I try to plan only one activity per day and take two to three times as much rest for each activity. Had an hour's appointment? Then do nothing for two to three hours.<\/p>\n

And that's still not always going well. Saturday I helped with jobs at the campsite. After an hour and a half I stopped, went into the sauna, went to bed to read a few pages and woke up a few hours later.<\/p>\n

It's hard to change your behavior. And it is very difficult to temporize yourself if you are enthusiastic and driven. Fortunately, I have Sylvia, who's watching me.<\/p>\n

\u201cTaking a break is my new side hustle. And I'm bad at it.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\n

\ud83e\ude76 A new opportunity: Anzers and the Sovereign Cloud<\/h3>\n

Fortunately, there is also good news. I now work a few hours a week for Anzers in Enschede, where I can work on a sovereign cloud. A great opportunity, because everyone knows how convinced I am that we all need to protect ourselves from external influences. How we, as governments and businesses, need to get a grip on the new oil: data. Data is the new oil, and we're just giving it all away. At Anzers they are very aware of my limited employability, and my commitment is limited to what I can handle. Exactly as it should be.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf we don\u2019t protect our data, who will?\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\u2047 For now<\/h3>\n

For now, this is where I stand, trying to fill my days with small victories: A walk, a book, a cup of coffee without guilt. Recovery is harder than being sick, because you have to be active choose<\/em> for rest. And that, for someone like me, may be the biggest challenge.<\/p>\n

*\"Heaviness may have light. And light weighs sometimes surprisingly much.\u201d<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u2047 15:33 The bell no one wants to hear It was a call on Friday afternoon at 15:33. I was just preparing a kwis beer tasting. In a few minutes my afternoon changed from light to heavy. Since then, I've been trying to write down everything that happens. Not to feel sorry, but to 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