A particularly tough season
Sometimes it's like life just piles up. In recent months, my family and I have been confronted with no less than five personal dramas in five different lives. One of them was the loss of a dear friend: A special person, snatched away by a debilitating disease. Sadness cannot be dealt with efficiently. It seeps, it rubs, and it takes time.
“When life breaks, you really learn what connection means.”
Uncertainty as an independent professional
As if the personal wasn't enough, business uncertainty was added. The panic surrounding the DBA law caused chaos among clients. Rates plummeted, assignments disappeared and for months I was without income. Not because of lack of skills, but because of fear and ambiguity in the system.
“Secureness is not a contract, it is trust. And that is lacking.’
A world on fire
In the meantime, I look at the world and worry. About Ukraine. The shadows of Trump. About a Europe that continues to struggle with principles and profit. About tech giants that are more powerful than countries. On the right and populism that paralyzes policy. And of course about the climate – or rather: the denial of it in our consumption behaviour.
“We want change, as long as we don’t have to change ourselves.”
EduNEX: on hold, not written off
In the midst of all this chaos, EduNEX also came to a standstill. A project that I had put my heart into, with a mission that is more relevant than ever: help people cope better with information, fragmentation and digital overload. But life forced me to pause. Now it's starting to itch again. The vision is still there. The need has only increased. EduNEX is coming back. Better, sharper, more people-oriented.
“Sometimes you have to stop in order to refocus.”
Silence on stage
My hobby – Toastmasters – also came to a complete standstill. And that while speaking to the public has always been a source of energy and self-understanding for me. However, as with EduNEX: The break was temporary. On May 27th I will give my maiden speech, the first step back to a stage that I missed for a long time. Not to convince, but to connect - with myself and with others.
“Speaking is only powerful when it is born of silence.”
Light at the end
And yet... there's good news. I found a new assignment at a company that's right. Human, substantive, inspiring. The personal storms are over. Apart from the sadness of the loss, the other chapters begin to close cautiously. There is room for new energy.
“After a long winter, spring does not come in one day, but it comes.”
Building digital autonomy
My mission is also taking shape. More and more organizations are making the switch from Microsoft to FOSS solutions such as Nextcloud. What used to be idealism is now getting hands and feet. And I'm in the middle of that. Today I am visiting the European Parliament, and June 5th the Nextcloud Summit in Munich. The future is beginning to become visible.
“Autonomy starts with daring to make choices, even if they deviate from the standard.”
Back to Arnhem
Today I walked through Arnhem, on my way to Brussels. I passed the house where an old barn lived in the summer of 1998. I had completely forgotten about her. The moment surprised me. Not because of her, but because it reminded me how many layers there are in a life. How many turns, how much time, how much growth.
“We sometimes forget who we were, but never where we want to go.”
Hope, despite everything
There are still concerns. On the climate, on the war, on Europe. But I also see movement. People are waking up. There is room for uncomfortable truths. Today I choose to be hopeful. Not naive, but determined.
“Hope is not an illusion, it is a choice. Every day.’
English (UK)