⁇ Cancer light – Texel as an intermediate breath

⁇ 15:33 The bell that no one wants to hear

It was a call on Friday afternoon at 15:33. I was just preparing a kwis beer tasting. In a few minutes my afternoon changed from light to heavy. Since then, I've been trying to write down everything that happened. Not to get pity, but to keep my head and heart together. These blogs are my way of understanding, sharing and showing how I dealt with this. Sometimes serious, sometimes humorous, but always real.

“Life does not call in advance to ask if it is convenient.”

⁇ The sum of bad luck

Some years were busy. Other years seemed to come by in person to check if you were still standing upright. This year was definitely in the latter category. We had to deal with immense financial swindles, two deaths and two near deaths. As if that wasn't enough, two people in our family spent four months at home because work simply didn't go. At the same time, the world happily played along. A brother in Iraq was initially unable to go home because of overflying missiles between Iran and Israel. News that normally remained abstract suddenly became kitchen table reality. As if that wasn't enough, my family had to deal with the police, my mother broke her back and there were several medical incidents in the immediate family. It was not a series of events, it was an accumulation without a breather.

“Some years do not come in chapters, but in waves.”

⁇ Annual medical subscription

In addition to my own trajectory, care became a recurring theme in our agendas. Hospitals were almost trusted with fixed jab and waiting rooms. And while everyone was already walking on their gums, Sylvia, as a board member of the campsite, got an extra layer. Disputes, quarrels and reproaches that slowly but surely took their toll. It strongly contributed to her burn out, while she remained the stable factor on which we all leaned. Sometimes it feels like the universe has taken more from us in this one year than is reasonable in 5 years. That creates expectations. For those who surrender so much, I think they are also entitled to a little cosmic compensation.

“If the universe has accounting, we are deeply in the red.”

⁇ After the last irradiation

The day after my last irradiation, Sylvia and I board the boat to Texel together with Jaero and Salke. Mandy stays home to celebrate old and new with her friends in Hengelo, exactly as it should be. It feels logical and strange at the same time. It's like life says that some things just go on, even if you're just closing a chapter. Texel welcomes us with space, wind and a soothing form of peace that is nowhere on the agenda.

“Some places do not ask questions and that is exactly their strength.”

⁇ Beach, bingo and a peacock

We make beach walks with Salke, who can feel like a dog again without a leaflet. At the park we end up at bingo, an activity that I normally only associate with rain and lukewarm coffee. We see pheasants as if it were the most common thing in the world. And as if that wasn't enough, one afternoon a peacock walks into our garden. Even my illness seems to conclude there that it can also be done tomorrow.

“Life continues to surprise, even if you think you've already seen everything.”

⁇ A neck with its own plans

I feel amazingly good, even though my body demands a mandatory beauty sleep every afternoon. My skin had other plans. I was in a lot of pain and looked in the mirror this morning. The edges of the plaster looked terrible, red, broken and angry. Blisters. Everything under the plaster was largely healed, but the transition was a battlefield. We decided together that this could not go on. Not according to the booklet, but according to common sense. We pulled the patch off. Sylvia moved into Texel and returned with ointment and determination.

“Not everything that is official is also friendly.”

⁇ Saint Sylvia and ointment

Since then I have been lovingly anointed several times a day by Saint Sylvia. The effect is great. Less pain, less itching and especially more rest in my head. I enjoy the island again that feels like coming home to me without explanation. I'm dressed and ready to say goodbye to a year that took everything out of the closet. And to welcome a new year that's blank enough to start over.

“Care is sometimes just in a tube of ointment and two hands.”

⁇ For now

For now, this is where we are. When I read the list back, it remains bizarre that this all fit in one year. But in a few hours, 2025 will be behind us. We leave it behind on Texel, along with everything that was too heavy to take with us. We're looking ahead. Determined even. Because the universe asked and took so much from us last year, that we'll just pick up our karma in 2026. With interest, if possible. From our heart, my family wishes everyone, without exception, a warm, healthy and light 2026. A year with less stroppen, more breathing space and especially more softness for each other.

‘Heaviness may have light. And we are happy to share that light.”